“Yeah, right, Eloise, of course . . . ” I bet you’d say!

But it’s true. In fact, as a normal part of our lives, anxiety can help you to stay alert and focused. It can motivate you and push you into taking action.

If you’re under pressure or facing a stressful situation it’s normal to feel scared or nervous. That’s what anxiety is for. It’s your body’s way of responding to danger, and alerting you that it feels threatened.

It’s only when anxiety becomes overwhelming or constant that it stops being “normal” and instead becomes totally non productive and destructive.

So, as you can see, anxiety affects us all, but to lesser or greater degrees. It can also affect us in different ways. You might suffer from uncontrollable worrying thoughts that come out of the blue, or maybe you suffer from crippling anxiety attacks. Then again, you may live every waking hour in a state of fear and tension.

That’s how anxiety is – affecting us all in different ways.

However, complex as that sounds, there is one common theme running through this. All anxiety disorders have an element of severe fear or worry to them in situations that most people wouldn’t normally feel threatened by.

And that is quite possibly why anxiety is a very misunderstood and under rated condition. It’s simply that most people can’t see what the fuss is all about. They’re not bothered by what you deem to be threatening so their first thought is “What are you worrying about?”

If that thought is then conveyed to you, it can be quite difficult to explain the depth and severity of your anxiety without feeling embarrassed or ashamed by it. You don’t necessarily want to explain your anxiety to others, and you most certainly don’t want to relive it in the process.

On the other hand, particularly if you’re having a day where you’re maybe feeling a little bit mischievous, you may feel that you’re tempted to launch into a full blown explanation!

This week I came across a blogspot that goes into quite a bit of detail as to why your body behaves the way that it does when you’re feeling anxious. Even if you don’t feel ready to “bamboozle people with science” I think that you might find the explanations very helpful.

You can read the article here:

http://hardanxiety.blogspot.co.uk/fight_or_flight.html

I hope that it helps to take away some of the mystery that surrounds anxiety, and provides you with some hard facts for you to produce if you ever find yourself in that tight spot where someone says to you, “I don’t see what you’re worrying about.”

I know I’ve gone on a bit about it but worry is a core factor of anxiety, and I really want you to have a better idea of how it fits into the whole scheme of things. So I hope you can bear with me a bit longer on this one.

This week I want to quote a section from Dr Robert Anthony’s book, ‘50 Ideas That Can Change your Life’. It’s called ‘Worry Is a Killer’ and I hope that by sharing it with you, you might start to have a different attitude to worry from now on!

 By the way, Dr Anthony is a clinical hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, and personal performance trainer who has helped many people to overcome obstacles that have held them back in their lives.

Ok, here we go then:
WORRY IS A KILLER
‘Are you inclined to be a little bit of a “worry-wart?

I love the story of the man who went to the psychiatrist because he was worrying himself sick and the psychiatrist, through the use of hypnosis, was able to remove the worries from the man’s mind and he went away cured and very, very happy.

The following day he came back into the psychiatrist’s office in an absolute tizzy.

He said, “Doctor, doctor, I’m dreadfully worried,” and the doctor asked, “What on earth are you worried about?”

He answered, “Doctor, I can’t remember what it is I’m supposed to worry about!”

I guess that’s the way many of us are.

This is a worry-crazed world that we live in. Many of our present ills are due to worries, the ones that we acknowledge, and also the ones that we hide even from ourselves.

Worry lowers the tone of the mind and wears down our resistance to disease and despair. Worry is a killer. Make no mistake about it. Worry is a real killer.

Why then do we worry?

Perhaps you say that you can’t help it. Worry has become a habit and you can’t break up a long-standing habit in a few months.

That’s true. I’ll accept that, but if you’re going to break it up at all, you’ll have to start somewhere, won’t you? You’ll have to begin sometime, so why not right here and now? Even if your worries cannot be overcome in two minutes, you’ve go to start sometime.

Will there ever be a better time to begin than now?

Try to make this one day a worryless day for you.

If you’re anxious over any particular point, try to realize that the thing will either happen or not happen. Those are the two alternatives. If you are anxious about an impending event, either it will happen or it won’t happen.

That’s a pretty simple alternative and your worrying won’t make any difference about it, will it? It will only make you less fit to cope with the situation should it turn out as you feel it will. By the time the thing happens, you’ll have so worn down your resources by worry that you may not be able to cope with it; but if you can divorce the worry, even if the worse happens, you’ll find that you’ve got strength and courage to deal with it.

Give up the idea that things cannot go right unless you worry about them. Give up worry the way a swimmer gives up his water wings when he realizes that he can swim without them.

If you’ve ever had swimming lessons, you’ll remember you flopped wildly about in the water at first. You made a lot of effort, but it didn’t seem to get you anywhere, then, suddenly, you let yourself go.

“I’ve got it!” you cried, “I can swim!” and that’s how it will be when you develop the technique of letting yourself relax mentally.

“I’ve got it,” you’ll say, “I can swim in the sea of life. I can swim without worry.”

All the time that you worry you’re simply thrashing about in the waters of life and virtually drowning yourself. Whereas, if you would simply be still and try to live this as a worryless day, you’ll be on your way to learning to swim peacefully in the seas of life and you’ll find that it’s a much better life as a result.’

 
I know that worry is a big problem for anxiety sufferers so I do hope that this extract from Dr Anthony’s book has given you a fresh outlook on it.

Ok, that’s it for this week. Next week I promise I’ll steer right away from the subject of worry!

Once you get into the habit of worrying about things it can be a very hard habit to break. But, just like your anxiety, worrying is a learned condition and what can be learned can be unlearned!

But before you can make any headway with changing your habits, let’s take a look at a few things that might be blocking you from making progress.

Do you feel you are worthy?

Firstly, do you feel that you’re worthy of experiencing happiness? Or do you perhaps feel that you have to “earn” it in some way? And by “earning” it I mean do you feel you have to put up with some of the more unpleasant things in life before you have “earned” your happiness? Does this apply to you?

Have you ever set off for a lovely day out and had your day spoilt by worrying thoughts? Hang on, did you lock the front door on your way out? You know you did but . . . . DID you lock it? Where did that random thought come from, out of the blue like that?

Can you see how your worrying thoughts might be stopping you from experiencing happiness? It’s like your brain is sabotaging the pleasant times in your life because over the years it’s been programmed to think that you’re not worthy of true happiness.

Most worries are not useful. You know that really, don’t you? So you need to make a positive commitment to cutting down on worrying.

One of the best ways of achieving this is to delay your worrying. Get into the habit of postponing your worrying until a later time.

Get yourself a special notebook and use it as a “Worry Notebook”. Each time you have a worrying thought, write it down in your notebook. You won’t forget it now (because it’s written down) so tell yourself that and that you will worry about it later instead of now.

Of course, it’s up to you whether you actually do go back to your notebook later on or not. That’s your choice.

Maybe you might like to try having have an actual Worry Time  -  a set time period every day where you can refer to your notebook and spend that time worrying about your worries! It’s not as daft as it sounds, believe me.

The Worry Time can be as long or as short as you like. It’s completely up to you but always stick to the time period that you’ve decided on and don’t go over the end of it.
I’ve found that a lot of people cope well by having a special ‘Worry Time’ where they choose to address their worries in that special allotted time slot.

Equally, some people forget that they ever had the worry in the first place, forget to refer to the notebook later on and in fact forget the whole thing completely! Isn’t that great? And all because you made the wise choice to put off your worrying until a later time!

You might even find that if you do look back later on at the worries that you’d written down, they might not seem so important after all. Why not give it a try?

And don’t feel that you’re being silly by following through with this. Postponing your worries until your Worry Time is a very good thing to do as it helps to break the habit of worrying about things as soon as they come into your head. You may even find that by the time you’ve got round to your allotted Worry Time some of your worries don’t seem worth wasting your time on! If so, well done! What a brilliant result!

I knew what I was going to write about this week – I think I even mentioned it at the end of last week’s newsletter – but just as I sit down to write it I’ve changed my mind and am going to talk about something else instead.

First of all, my apologies to you if you were specifically waiting for the information that I was going to give you this week. I promise that I will only delay your wait by one more week and that next week I shall carry on where I left off last week, if you follow what I mean.

So, why the change of plans all of a sudden?

Well, as usual, it’s because something has come to my attention and I want to pass that information on to you as soon as possible.

Now, I realise that I might be taking a bit of a chance here, and that I may be about to mention something that doesn’t interest you at all or that you can’t go along with. If this is the case, then I apologise up front but, as I said recently to one of my regular readers, I would rather suggest things to you that might be of some help to you rather than keep quiet and risk you missing out.

Ok, so this week I want to mention Emotional Freedom Technique again, or EFT as it’s often called.

If you are new to EFT and think it all seems a bit odd or way out (and I do completely understand that natural response if you are not familiar with it) do please try to be open minded at least until you have tried it. I know I felt exactly the same when EFT first came into my life but I can honestly say that I found it really helpful once I started using it.

If you go to my blog (http://anxietyproblemssolved.com/blog) and go to the March 2011 section under “Archives”, you will find edition 100 on the 31st March 2011, titled, “I’m Back With 100!” In here you’ll find a link to a video in which world renowned EFT specialist Margaret Lynch explains how to use EFT for your anxiety.

Or, if you wish, you can bypass the blog and see the video directly by clicking on the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxk7cVPEOXw

Anyway, as I said before, this may be a bit of a long shot but I wanted to remind you about (or introduce you to) EFT as there is an event coming up very soon called ‘The Tapping World Summit 2012’. (EFT is sometimes called “tapping” as that’s exactly what it involves – tapping!)

You can find out the detail about it at the link below:

http://www.thetappingsolution.com/2012tws/NickOrtner4_2012.php

You might wonder why I’m telling you all of this, and sending you off to click on links here and there.

Well, the reason is simple.

My aim is always to give you as much information as possible about anxiety and to look at every little thing that might be of help to you, no matter how small or seemingly obscure.

And the thing that that leaps out at me time and time again when it comes to EFT is this:

In clinical tests, the technique used in Emotional Freedom Technique has been shown to reduce negative emotions such as stress, ANXIETY, overwhelm and much more.

Not only is this technique scientifically proven, it is also endorsed by some of today’s leading experts. Millions of people are using it today to transform all aspects of their lives.

Normally I would recommend that you visit Gary Craig’s EFT site at http://www.emofree.com/ but currently it says that it is under revision. However, if you want to know more about how EFT can help you with many aspects of your life, and not just with anxiety, there are many resources available on the internet if you do a search for them.

Ok, that’s my little reminder about EFT over for this week. I really hope that you look into it further and that it is of help to you. Next week I promise that I will be back on track and writing about the intended subject!

Generalised Anxiety Disorder is one of the most common anxiety disorders in older adults, and it affects between 2 to 5% of the population.

As to why you suffer from it, well, there are many theories on that question!

Some say that anxiety is increased when certain receptors in the brain are blocked. Some say that sufferers have a less flexible parasympathetic nervous system, making it more difficult for them to calm down or reduce the fear/anxiety response. Some say that there is a genetic tendency for anxiety to run in families.

Then there are those who prefer to talk about the psychological causes, saying that people with GAD pay more attention to signs of potential threat than others do.

There is also the suggestion that people believe that worry is helpful to them and that it can help them to prepare for things. An example of this would be worrying about giving a presentation in the hope that this will help it to go more smoothly. A variation of this is that worrying about your loved ones will in some way protect them, although in the clear light of day I think we can all see that there’s no logic to this one!

My experiences have shown me that quite often worry is more to do with how you handle uncertainty in your life. If you are not very good at tolerating uncertainty and not knowing what is going to happen in the future, you may get into the habit of worrying about the future in an attempt to predict what will happen and to gain some control over it.

Again, we all know that worrying doesn’t actually enable you to control the future. It only feels like it does.

Finally, as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, anxiety sufferers may end up worrying about the worry itself. When you get to the stage of worrying excessively it can make you feel as if you are losing control of your life or that you are going crazy. And so you may end up trying to suppress your worries, and push them away, but this usually only makes your worries even more likely to return in the future.

For worry to be considered as a definite sign of an anxiety disorder, that worry needs to be shown to cause significant distress in the sufferer’s day-to-day life. It may be that they cannot perform their job properly because of it or maybe they cannot get through their day efficiently because they are not sleeping properly.

Your doctor would also need to check that the worry and anxiety do not have another cause, for example a medical condition such as an overactive thyroid or something as simple as consuming too much caffeine each day.

Also, if the person suffers from depression, schizophrenia or other such mood disorders, it would need to be proved that the worry and other GAD symptoms do not occur only during times when the other conditions are active. If this was the case, then the symptoms would be classed as being part of the original problem and not diagnosed separately as part of an anxiety disorder.

If you do decide to visit your doctor about your symptoms, he or she will probably ask you many questions about not only your current symptoms but your medical history as well. This is why it is so important to be honest and open with your doctor, and to not feel ashamed about what you are going through. The intensity and duration of your symptoms will be taken into account, as well as the severity of the interference that your symptoms cause in your daily life.

There are no tests as such that specifically diagnose anxiety disorders, but there will be other tests that can be carried out first to rule out any other physical illnesses as being the cause of the symptoms.

Next week I’m going to recap on why you might be troubled by excessive worrying, and give you my recommendation for an easy way to start getting it under control. I do hope you can join me for that.

If you weren’t too sure before, it may be that you’ve now been able to take a better look at things and what you’re going through, and you’ve decided that perhaps you do suffer from an anxiety disorder.

Before we go any further, I must remind you of one thing.

Please remember that I am not trained medically or clinically. I only speak from my own experiences. Therefore, if you are in any doubt at all, it is always best to seek medical advice regarding your own individual circumstances.

I know that many people are sometimes concerned about going to see their doctor but anxiety is a recognised medical condition so don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor and explain how you feel.

You may find it helpful to print off the list of statements that I gave you the other week and take it with you as a reminder of how anxiety is affecting your life.

I’ve also prepared a list of questions for you that you might like to take along with you so that you don’t come home later and then realise that you forgot to ask something that was important to you.

Don’t feel embarrassed about taking along a list with you. Most doctors would prefer you to learn more about your medical condition and to leave with a thorough understanding, rather than coming away feeling vague and confused.

So don’t feel bad about knowing what you want to ask and also, don’t feel awkward about writing the answers down. It’s surprising how much you think you will remember but find that you have in fact forgotten it by the time you get home.

So here are those questions that you might want to ask your doctor, either if you think that you have an anxiety disorder or if you’ve already been diagnosed.

• What is wrong with me exactly?
• Why do I have an anxiety disorder?
• Can it be treated?
• What are the treatments for anxiety disorder?
• How effective are the treatments?
• Are there any side effects to the treatments?
• Will I have to take any medication?
• Will such medication be addictive?
• Will I need treatment for the rest of my life?
• Will I get better?
• How long will it take for me to get better?
• Am I stuck with anxiety forever?
• What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and does it work?
• Who is the best qualified person to help me?
• What will happen if I don’t have any treatment?
• What can I do to help myself?
I’m sure you’ll think up some of your own questions to add to that list but these are the ones that most people want to know the answers to.

Reading through them, you might feel that the list is a bit long and depressing but please don’t feel that way. Although I can give you a lot of the answers to these questions myself, it would take time and, at the end of the day, remember that I don’t know you personally or your individual situation. So there is nothing quite like a straight forward one-to-one chat with your doctor, getting all the answers to your questions, to set you on the path to recovery.

I expect you know by now that I am a huge believer in self help for treating anxiety but, at this early stage, it is always best to see your doctor first, if only to rule out any other possible medical conditions that may be masked by your anxiety symptoms. Once your mind is at rest over that, there is nothing to stop you going along the self help route at the same time as following your doctor’s advice.

However, if you don’t mind, I’m going to put that on hold for a moment.

You see, the thing is that several people have got in touch with me, asking me about the specific worries that they experience in their lives.

Again, as I said last time, this is the nature of anxiety – worry, that leads you to worry about those worries, which leads to yet more worry. It’s a vicious circle.

So, let’s just take a few moments to take a closer look at the subject of worry.

One of the main characteristics of Generalised Anxiety Disorder is chronic and excessive worry.

“How much is excessive?” you might ask.

Well, most of us experience worry from time to time in our lives. It’s only natural, but GAD sufferers worry most of the time, even if there is very little for them to worry about. They just can’t help themselves, and they certainly don’t feel as if they have any control over it.

Worry inevitably leads to tension and so they then find that they also have physical problems to deal with such as tiredness, trouble sleeping, muscle tension, feeling on edge, nausea, dry mouth and that all too familiar lump in the throat that leads to trouble with swallowing.

It strikes me that worry is something that causes anxiety sufferers to worry even more than ever. So how about if I tell you some of the things that people have told me that they worry about (and that they feel silly or ashamed about)? Maybe then you’ll be able to see that there is no right or wrong thing to be worried about.

So here goes. Are any of these things the sort of things that you worry about?

• What if I’m late?
• What if there’s nowhere to park?
• What if I can’t find the way?
• What if I have an accident?
• What if I can’t get all of my tasks done?
• What if I don’t do the washing up before I go out?
• What if I can’t cope?
• What will people think of me?
• What if they don’t like me?
• What if . . . ?

Then there are the constant worries about subjects as diverse as:

• Work or school
• Friendships and relationships
• Safety of friends and family
• Money and paying the bills
• Appearance

Some sufferers may even say that they worry about “everything”.

Again, you might say that these are the sort of things that everybody worries about from time to time, but the difference is that anxiety sufferers worry excessively about such things and are not able to “turn it off” no matter how hard they try. Such worries occur on a daily basis (and frequently many times a day) rather than the occasional worries that non anxiety sufferers experience.

So, as you can see, worry is a very personal thing. There is no right or wrong thing to worry about and each individual is different in how it affects them.

You may think that some of the subjects that I have detailed here are rather trivial but, if by listing them here, I have helped even one person to not feel so bad about their worries, then that’s fine. So many people start to worry that they are worrying about trivial things. My answer to them is to let that thought go and not add to the situation further!

Next week I shall be carrying on from where I left off last week, and talking about whether you should go to your doctor or not about your anxiety, and what to say if you do decide to go down that route.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that perhaps after nearly three years of giving you information and help about anxiety there might not be a lot more to say! I know that I sometimes think that way too and yet, somehow, new things keep coming into my world that I feel may be of benefit to you, and so I pass them on to you.

But let’s not forget that I have new readers too, and sometimes it’s very easy to get carried away with discussing all of the latest ideas and treatments for anxiety, with the inevitable tendency for things to all get a bit heavy and complicated.

So this week I thought I’d go back to basics and recap a little on exactly what anxiety is and what you can do about it.

So often people tell me that they don’t know if they have anxiety or not. I know that may sound silly to you but it’s true. To be honest, that’s one of the key elements of anxiety – the fact that you worry excessively, and cannot always see the facts clearly for what they are.

Some say that there are official criteria for diagnosing anxiety but I don’t think we need to worry about that here. Again, it’s too easy to get bogged down in the “official stuff” and completely skim over how you are really feeling.

So, instead, may I suggest a much simpler way of looking at how you feel and analysing how your life is affected by anxiety?

Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself, if you think that you suffer from an anxiety disorder. (Yes, I know that there are actually three specific types of anxiety disorder – Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder – but I am just using the general term of ‘anxiety’ here to make things simpler for you to start with, ok?)

So, during the past four to six months, have any of these statements applied to you?

• I am always worrying about things.
• I have trouble relaxing and feel tense all of the time.
• I have difficulty with concentrating on one thing at a time.
• I am impatient or irritable.
• I have aches and pains, including headaches, and I don’t know why.
• I have difficulty falling asleep or sleeping well.
• I feel as if there is a lump stuck in my throat.
• I feel as if I need to be sick when I am feeling worried.
• I sweat a lot and have hot flushes.

Of course, as with all things, you could say that many of these things could apply to anybody, not just anxiety sufferers, and yes, that would be true. But what we are looking for here is a pattern.

Experiencing one or two of these things occasionally is fine but if you can look back at your life over a period of time and see that these things are constantly recurring, then it may be that you have an anxiety disorder.

Next week, I’ll go into this in a bit more detail and give you some pointers as to what’s the best way to go from here.

That’s all I can say! WOW!

Thank you so, SO much for your response to last week’s email, which was the 150th edition of this newsletter.

It was so lovely to hear from you all and to know that you too are proud of our little ‘anxiety community’ that we’ve built together over the years.

It was great to hear from so many of you and to hear your ideas for the way ahead, and your suggestions for future newsletter topics. So a big thank you to everybody who got in touch. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do so.

I’m always fascinated by how much we can learn from each other, and how sometimes small, seemingly insignificant little details that we learn can lead on to bigger and better things.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

A few weeks ago, a reader of mine told me that she had begun to practice meditation since reading the book “Power Over Panic” by Bronwyn Fox.

Now I had not heard of this particular author but, always keen to learn, I set about finding out a bit more about her. I found out that she is a leading authority on panic and anxiety disorders, as well as being the author of the book I just mentioned.

It gets better though because, in my research, I was thrilled to find a transcript of an online conference call with Bronwyn. In the interview, she talks about how she made the transition from being an anxiety sufferer to now being anxiety free. She also explains how she got herself off the anti anxiety medication that she had been taking for some time, and how long it took her to do this.

I also liked the fact that many of the listeners were able to ask their own questions too. I know from experience that it’s always good to hear answers from someone who’s already been where you are and has finally moved on from anxiety in their lives. We can learn a lot from listening to those that have walked this path before us.

So do please go and have a read through of the transcript. I’m sure you’ll find it very helpful and encouraging.

You can access the transcript by clicking on the link below:

http://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/transcripts/power-over-panic/

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

And finally, thank you very much to the reader who told me about this book. I won’t name you here to protect your anonymity but you know who you are! Thank you for letting me know about it which has now led on to me finding this fascinating interview for you all to share.

I certainly wouldn’t have predicted that I would still be writing this weekly newsletter, three years down the line!

Yet here I am today, proud to be writing the 150th edition.

Way back in 2009, when I started this newsletter, it was just an idea that I’d had really. I don’t know that I put that much thought into it or planned it that well. I just knew that I wanted to help other people who suffered from anxiety and this seemed to be the most suitable way to do it.

How things have moved on from then!

Each month has brought new people signing up for my newsletter, and over the years I’ve been thrilled at how many of you have been able to share your stories and concerns.

We’ve swapped information, helped each other, and learned from each other too.

It’s become like a family – and I’m so happy that, in a way, we have created our own little mini-community. We’ve also proved that none of us are on our own with our anxiety problems. Others know how we feel and are happy to share their experiences and to help out wherever they can.

So a big THANK YOU to everyone who has helped to make this newsletter (and the website) a success.

On the subject of the website, those of you who have been with me from day one will know that I have revamped the website several times over the past three years.

When I first started out, I didn’t have a clue how to set up a website and my first attempt was so basic that it was almost painful to look at! But I learnt as I went along, and each “revamp” produced a site that looked a lot better than the previous one, even if it still wasn’t that brilliant.

So I’d like to thank you for being able to see past my rather naïve attempts at website creation to instead value the information that I provided. This is what it is all about, after all.

However, life moves on, and things can easily start to look very dated. So, in celebration of this being the 150th edition of the newsletter, I’m pleased to say that the website has had yet another transformation (and some would say that it’s highly overdue!).

Please go and take a look, and let me know what you think:

http://anxietyproblemssolved.com/

Also, as a thank you for being such a loyal subscriber, I have a little gift for you.

I’m delighted to be able to give you a fantastic report called “Your Anxious Brain”.

It’s all about how science is changing our understanding of anxiety and revealing how it can be treated more effectively and faster than ever before.

By the way, don’t get put off by the science part. This is written by Rich Presta, someone whose work I highly value so don’t be worried that you’ll find it too complicated or too difficult to read. Rich has written some marvellous programmes that help people who suffer from anxiety and I know that you’re going to gain some really useful information from this report.

To get your copy, simply click on the link below.

http://www.anxietyproblemssolved.com/anxbrain.pdf

I hope you enjoy it.

And thank you once again for being such a loyal subscriber. I really am very grateful to have you on board with me.